Sweetie

Wanna know a little about the fella that makes me who I am? He's a pretty special and a pretty(!) man that has been a part of my life for almost 19 years. How did we meet? What brought us together? Why have we stayed together?

Well, we actually met way back in about 1979 or so, when I came to Sacramento as a Junior at California State University, Sacramento. Unknown to me, Sweetie was already here, and had been for a few years. I transferred in and decided that I would sing in the choirs on campus. That was the first time I ever laid eyes on Sweetie. I learned several things about him while singing in the choir. First, he was married, to a woman, no less! Next, he was a bit of an ass. He was really involved with an "in" crowd, and I was definately not one of them. We sang a number of concerts in those two years until I graduated and I moved on. Turns out, he did not graduate until after I did, and he started before me! And, he is a year older than me. But all that aside, I never expected to really know him or ever see him again.

I started working in the banking industry and was transferred up and down the central valley for for about five years until I landed once again in Sacramento in 1986. I was contacted by a number of performing groups here in the city when I arrived and one of them was the group I now sing with. Yes, I have been with this group for 21 years! Well, Sweetie was a singer in this group. I immediately recognized him, but he had no recollection of me.

Seems I was a bit of an attraction to him. He persued me, but I was very inexperienced and very naive. I didn't realize that he was interested in me and he had no idea that we had actually met before years earlier.

I became involved with a man, my first, at age 28, and Sweetie was just dumbfounded that I did not swoon for him. About a year went by and I was at a bar downtown one night, on 4th of July weekend. I was there and so was he. I was pretty blasted, as I had been to my hometown earlier that day to celebrate my mother's birthday, and had stopped at the bar to unwind and get over the whole family experience.

I was there, shirt unbuttoned to my waist, he was there, hardly drunk at all, and we connected. We left the bar together, but at the corner, he was parked one direction, I was parked the other. We hugged, and I turned to walk away. About a block toward my car, I heard my name. I turned around and saw him running back toward me. I turned and ran back, too. We met back at the corner and it was one of those turely horrible movie moments where we embraced and kissed under the street light,at the corner of 20th and K Streets.

He invited me home. I said no! In fact, we dated a couple of times before I "put out". But on that weekend, I knew that this was something special. Can you imagine that it was years later that he realized that we had sung in the same choir in college? He had no memory of me!!

We have had a few rocky times along the way. Perhaps I will tell you about them sometime. But to people like Ryan and Mike, and to Bigg, I would like to say that even after the most rocky of events, we have hung together. And you know what? I am as much in love with him today as I have ever been. OK. Our love is different than it was many years ago, but Sweetie and I are soul mates.

There are things that have happened that have constantly reminded me that this man loves me and has made me as much of his life as I have made him a part of mine.

We are quickly approaching our 19th anniversary. How wonderful it is to be in love and to be loved! Please to all of you, this is not a fairy tale. Well perhaps it is! But this is an example of what it means for two beings, not as in the "traditional" man/woman pairings, to find one another and forge a singular life together.

I can't imagine what my life would be like without him. I don't want to! But I think we are a good example of what it means to be married people although the "laws" don't allow us to be so officially. I love him with my entire being and I expect to be with him until one of us has passed beyond.

That is the story of how we met. There are many other stories that I am sure I will share. But, please know that gay men can be together just like other folks and be rewarded for it!

Best wishes to all!