Defeated

I am feeling a bit defeated at the moment. I was "volunteered" to help Sweetie with a function at his school last night. Now, over the years, I have been a great volunteer to the many events he has put together. Always wanting to support him (as I should) I have lent my help whenever asked.

Thanks to a few difficult circumstances completely beyond my control, there were a few mix-ups (although I know exactly what I did) that have caused a few questions. It involves money, and as a former banker, and unbelievably accurate, I really got my feelings hurt when Sweetie inferred that I had not lived up to his expectations. He did not question my accuracy or honesty, but he implied that I "should have known the way he does things" and should have adjusted accordingly. I agree that I have learned to read him to great detail, but last night posed a whole new set of circumstances that were completely new to me. I will certainly know better next time. It may work out that I will politely pass on the next invitation to help out. Once burnt, twice cautious! I guess I am over it now. Thanks for listening!!

In so many ways, I am completely blessed to have a partner like Sweetie. We have a wonderful life together, we want for nearly nothing, we are each other's best friend, and we are working on our 20th year together. I have no reason to complain about anything. But, I am in a bit of a depression beacuse I always try to be the best I can possibly be to him. When I do things that disappoint, it really gets to me. Especially when I really feel that I did nothing wrong and reacted to the circumstances at hand calmly and logically. At least to me!!

All else is great. It was a busy weekend. I did a great deal of yard work, raking leaves, weeding, mowing, and trimming. It was just so terrible that the wind came up in the afternoon on Saturday and blew down a whole new crop of leaves. You wouldn't think that I had done a thing! That evening, we had our best friends and their little daughter over for dinner. I cooked. We attended two plays over the weekend, and I did two loads of laundry. I worked my fanny off!!

I will look forward to this weekend. We are going camping with a GLBT camping group over in Sonoma County. We will be near the town f Petaluma, not far from the Russian River. It will be so great to get away!

Well, I need to get a few things done tonight. We go to get the trailer after work tomorrow night. Camping, here we come!!

Regards,
-Tim